em forster

em forster wrote a passage to india and other stories, while i have only read a passage to india, i enjoyed his writing. well, wendy moffat, associate professor of english at dickinson college, pennsylvania, uncovered while researching a new biography of the novelist, a 'sex diary' of his that said that the energy of his early years was drained by physical fulfilment. which i found interesting. before his death forster wrote that “I should have been a more famous writer if I had written or rather published more, but sex prevented the latter.”

i just found this so interesting! that his enjoyment of sex and his enjoyment of living life to the fullest prevented him from writing more. i guess sometimes the living of your life gets in the way of what your supposed to be doing in life. makes one think. if i go out and live my life and enjoy new experiences, will i be too occupied to write? there's no way of knowing that until i find something that makes me not want to write anymore. i don't see that happening for me. usually if i find a new experience and i enjoy it, i want to write about it. i'm bursting to write about it. i just can't stop writing about it. and if i can't stop writin about it, i'm definatly enjoying it and loving it. so yeah, just makes one think. either way i found it interesting that for him sex had him not write as much as he thought he should have.

the whole article written about the biography of em forester can be found here.

a lighted carousel part 2

well i have finished the poem. i just love the photo and i love that it inspired me to write. stuff like that is just the best. i love when i'm inspired instead of making myself sit down and write. so i thought i would share the photo again and then share the poem. hope you like it.

safe in the dark

all i see are the lights

shining on me

i reach out to them

they swirl past me

round and round and round

i sit and wait

for the right time to move

to grab

to take hold of

the lights

they guide me

round and round and round

the lights shine bright

your hand reaches out of the dark

takes hold of me

pulls me
into the light

you hold me tight

round and round and round

sharing the secrets of the light

a lighted carousel

last month i had mentioned that i swapped poetry for art with a friend of mine at work. here's the story if you don't remember. well this week i had brought in my photography to show him. we had been talking alot about art so i didn't mind too much showing him what i had done. i'm no where near being a professional and i wanted to know what he would think about it, since he actually went to school for art. he said he liked them and i hope he was telling the truth. well we had got to talking and so we decided on a photo swap. i would give him one of my photo's and he would give me one of his. well he picked a photo i had taken just for the texture, it's a close up of tree bark. i really like the photo for the sun is hitting it just perfect. here's the photo.

not the best picture of it, but i think you get the idea. so the next day after he picked this photo, i brought it in all framed and matted and i think i surprised him. again he said he liked it and again i hope he was telling the truth. i don't think he would say he liked it if he didn't. well for the picture he was going to give to me, he gave me a stack of photo's he took and let me pick from them. well there were two that i really liked and he said that i could have them both. which i thought was really nice of him. here are the pictures i got from him.

  i'm totally in love with this picture and just keep loving it whenever i look at it is this one:

i just love(!) this photo. there's just something about it i can't get over. i love how you can only tell it's a carousel by the lights. i love the picture so much that it has inspired me to write a poem. when i have the finished poem i will share it on here. i just love this photo! i'm so thankful that he let me have it.  

word of the week

i haven't done this in a little bit so i thought i would bring it back. this week's word is: dirigible.

dirigible - capable of being steered.

so here's my sentence with it: 'though the truck was stalled, it was still dirigible.' not the best sentence but it's 10:30 at night, so cut me a little slack.

quotables!

here's another installment of quotes. hope you enjoy.

-"our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - martin luther king jr.
-"sometimes i just can't explain all the ways you devastate me." - straylight run
-"why is that as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?" - ernest gaines
-"i am tired, beloved, of chafing my heart against the want of you; of squeezing it into little inkdrops and posting it." - amy lowell
-"love is the pain you can't refuse." - rhodez
-"you are infuriating and irritating and yet i find myself looking for you." - austenland by shannon hale
-"all are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher." - ambrose bierce
-"i smoked in those days, because like everyone else in the world who smokes, i wanted to die at least as much as i wanted to live." - shantaram by gregory david roberts
-"i'm trying to drink away the part of the day i can't think away." - modest mouse
-"families are about love overcoming emotional torture." - matt groening
-"whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods." - albert eienstien
-"indifference is the strongest force in the universe. it makes everything it touches meaningless. love and hate don't stand a chance against it." - joan vinge

swirls of thoughts

so monday at work i was in a mood of sorts. i can't really classify it as any specific type of mood but, i did listen to dashboard confessional all day at work if that helps to classify. but i did write down a whole bunch of different little ideas for poetry. just little one or two liners that i think with some work will work great together. i'm very excited about it. other than that, i've really been reading with most of my free time. i go in spurts between reading and writing and right now i'm in a reading spurt. but i will be back writing once it hits me. sometimes you just have to wait for inspiration (though i will admitt sometimes you must chase inspiration with a slegde hammer).

and even more books!

first of all i thought i would share a song my brother created the day i was born. "molly rose was born, she just woke up on a molly morn." and my brother says that was the start of his song writing career (hehe). the reason i share that is because today is my 24th birthday.

in other news, i have gotten 4 more books from barnes&noble.com. i got:
dragons of the dwarven depths by margaret weis and tracy hickman
the riddle-master series by patricia a mckillip
the annotated legends by margaret weis and tracy hickman
the poets companion: a guide to the pleasures of writing poetry by kim addonizio and dorianne laux.
i'm very excited about the poets companion book. i love dorianne laux work! she is an amazing poet and i'm excited to see what she has to say about writing poetry. i'm also excited about the annotated legends book for it's a series i've already read, but in the margines, the authors have written notes on how they got the ideas for didn't parts of the story. i always love to see how people get their ideas.

bam!

so yesterday at work while i was listening to the phantom of the opera and just plugging along, it hit me how to fix my story i've been working on. different days has been kinda stuck and i didn't know how to fix it, but thankfully it just hit me and now i can move along in the story. : D it was so random it was great. sadly i won't have time to work on it all weekend, but come monday, i'll be typing away! i was stuck on what time period of the main charactors life to make everything happen. and as i've stated before it's not going to go in chronoligical order, it's going to jump around. well i've decided to have it jump around all her life. not just one certain age period. it hit me so randomly i loved it. plus it brightened my day up at work.

also it seems that for the superhero anthology, i'll know in february whether i got my poem in or not. so cross your fingers.

quoteables

here's some quotes that i've come across over the years and have inspired me in different ways. what i do is i have a spiral notebook and just number the pages and write down any quotes i like in the notebook. i make sure i put where the quote is from whenever possible; whether it is a person, from a book, or from a movie. i have one 300 page notebook filled front and back and i'm working on filling up another one. some quotes i have used in my scrapbooks and some have inspired me in my poetry. so i thought i would share some that i like. as time goes by i'm sure that i will be sharing more.

-"just cause i love you, and you love me it doesn't mean that we're meant to be." - jazmine sullivan
-"somewhere between good and evil, there's love." - ?
-"for only when free men write and speak truth will the exercise of arbitrary power be exposed and opposed." - ?
-"insanity is relative. it depends on who has who locked in what cage." - ray bradbury
-"anything can be a weapon if your holding it right." - ludo
-"after silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music - aldous huxley
-"people should fall in love with their eyes closed. just close your eyes. don't look." - andy warhol
-"unlike t.v, we cannot have too much science, despite its nuclear quirks. with science, ideas can germinate within a bed of theory, form and practice that assists their growth... but we, as gardeners, must beware... for some seeds are the seeds of ruin... and the most iridescent blooms are often the most dangerous." - v for vendetta
-"but tonight my voice fails me. silence is the best tune of farewell." - xu zhimo
-"but what is the difference between literature and journalism? ... journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. that is all." - oscar wilde
-"with the first link, the chain is forged. the first speech censored, the first thought frobidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably." - judge aaron satie

bright and early: whore of the 18th century

good morning everyone! i woke up today at 3am but oddly enough, i still got 7 hours of sleep last night. i went to bed early for i had a killer headache. but now the pain is gone and i woke up with ideas! i have been playing around with an idea i had gotten from jeremy that i posted about in this post. when i woke up this morning i just knew what i would write and finished the poem. i have it written out, but i don't think it's ready for final layout. but i will post what i have for now. and then if i decide that it needs some fixing, i will post the fixed/finished product. so here it is so far. i named it: whore of the 18th century.

I put a feather in my hair,
letting the world know who I am.
Let them stand and judge
for
I do the same to them about their profession.
While they scoff and laugh at me,
I will smile and wave my fan.
For they come home every night hating their job
and hating their life
while
I come home every morning
and enjoy my job and enjoy my life.
Life is too short to not have a little fun.
No,
I didn’t choose my profession,
but I’m not complaining about my lot in life.
I cannot change what has become,
so I will use it to my advantage.
I will pleasure those around me
and have a splendid time.

snow day

today it is snowing and i'm taking a personal day. i had already taken the day off from the comic shop so i could go to wisconsin, but the weather was bad last night so i didn't make the trip. so now i have the day off and it's snowing. there's nothing more fun then running around in the snow. or just watching the snow fall. so since i'm having a snow day i decided to do some of my favorite things. i'm going to drink lots of hott chocolate, watch movies, read my books and write until i can't write anymore. i'm sure many of the poems will be winter/christmas themed, but i'm ok with that. tis the season for things like that.

right now i'm reading the last book in the tamuli serious by david eddings: the hidden city. its a great fantasy story. with some love in it but it's the action that drives the writing. and the humor is great also. david eddings does a great job of writing believable people. i feel like i could meet these people in my every day life. i'm sad that david eddings won't be writing anymore, for he is dead. he died earlier this year. but he will live on in his wonderful books he wrote!

i'm also watching the mini-series band of brothers. it's a great series that hbo did. it's directed and written wonderfully. it based on the book written by stephen e. ambrose. i've loved the series for a long time and it's been out on dvd for awhile now, but it was too expensive for me to buy it. but i have an amazing boyfriend and jeremy bought it for me for christmas. he gave it to me early for fear of me buying it for myself.

well that is my snow day, i hope everyone else has a great snow day. or if you don't get snow where you are, just take a personal day. have a day where you do things that you love and that make you happy. there's nothing more fun. : D

arizona

so for thanksgiving i went to arizona to visit with my family. it was the first thanksgiving i ever had with my dad so that was really nice. usually my mom would have me on thanksgiving and then my dad would get me that weekend. it was nice spending time with the family and getting to see everyone. i hadn't see my brother matt and my sister-in-law jenny since their wedding (which was 2 years ago) so that was really nice. after spending the weekend with them all i was compelled to write a poem about my nephew george who is three. so here it is, hope you like it. i named it: life is full of them.

You run in with no cares in the world
other than who’s going to be playing with you.
My sister,
your mother,
walks in slowly behind,
carrying everything that you could possibly need.
You dash from person to person
giving high-fives and kisses to all who ask.
You show us your toys
and have us run with you on the jungle gym.
When you don’t get your way
you cry to your mom
begging and pleading that she makes it right.
And all she can tell you back is that
sometimes,
life is full of disappointment.

death

so in the last couple of months some friends of mine family members have died and it has spurred me to write a poem about death. i finally have finished it and thought i would post it here. its strongly influenced by john donne's holy sonnet X. i love john donne's holy sonnets! holy sonnet X is my favorite and always influence's my death poems at least a little bit. so here's the poem i wrote, hope you like it.

The strongest of men fall to thee.
Smart or dumb,
rich or poor,
all are for your taking.
You know no bounds and
have no weaknesses.

And yet
I will not fall to thee.
Though some have called thee mighty,
you are nothing but an after thought to me.
For love
your greatest foe
protects me.
She shelters me with her guiding light.

Stand back,
oh mighty death,
and feel the stinging pains of love.

what will they become?

so i've been working with the lines i came up with at work. here's the tidbits. i'm still working on the full poem versions.

"The years have muted your voice
and the years have blurred your face. "

"like water I tried to hold on,
you slipped though my fingers."

"While trying to hold onto the wind, you blew away."

"You still make my heart go pitter patter as if the world didn’t matter. "

working at work

so today at work a bunch of little tidbits of poems hit me. and different parts that would go together hit me at different times. luckily i don't have to remember it all by heart, i get to write down my ideas as the hit me. when the full poems take bloom i will share them here. hopefully they will come out awesome. if nothing else, i will share the tidbits that have inspired me to write.

...called it macaroni

so last night i was talking to jeremy on the phone and he was telling me about renaissance art. he was saying that the reason you barely ever seen people smiling and showing their teeth is because their teeth were usually rotted out. so if you do see someone with their teeth showing then it means that they are probally in their teens. he also said that the prostitutes of the time would tell everyone they were a prostitute by wearing a feather in their hair. both of these tid-bits i didn't know and he said that he learned in art history. well when he was telling me about the feather in the hair (i keep wanting to write cap. hehe) i couldn't help but write a line or two of poetry in my head right away. it was too cool. i love when things like that happen. i have no idea what i'll write about, i only have a couple lines, but i think it will be fun just to finish what jeremy had started in my head. so now i'll be thinking about the poem at work all day and when i come home i'll probally have it all written out. woot woot for getting inspired just by talking on the phone about art history.

time

so my normal job has changed my hours, which is good news for i will have more time to work on my writings now. before i worked from 8:30am-5pm, now i work from 7am-3:30pm. so when i get home i can sit down and write and whatnots. so i think i will do that today when i get home from work. i haven't had a good writing day in awhile. so it will feel nice. i can work on my poetry manuscript, my letterboxing article and a bunch more. and i can work late into the night for i don't have to be at work tomorrow until 11am. plus i just got a bunch of pictures i took back from the developers so now i have some really nice photo's for some inspirational poetry. so overall i'm in for a good writing night. i'll make some hott chocolate and just sit in front of the computer and work. it will feel really nice when i'm done for the evening. a writing night always does. i always have a sense of accomplishment when i'm done for the night, for usually i get a bunch done. plus when i'm done for the night i usually have whatever thoughts that have been bothering me writen out and thought over; so they aren't just in my head anymore. so i strongly suggest everyone have a writing night, they will make you feel great in the end.

nature

well this is me with my awesome new camera. i've taken about 4 rolls of film with it already, and i'm itching to do more. last weekend i was in wisconsin and i took a really cool one of a tiger, a kangaroo, and a tree with lake michigan as the background. well the tree one, jeremy kept a copy so that he can use it as a starting point in a painting he is going to do. which i think it just amazing! i feel touched that he liked my photo so much for he's an amature professional photographer. and it's really one of my favorites i've taken so far. it's really inspired me to write about nature in some poetry. eventually i'll put some of the photo's that have inspired me to write on here. because i use a film camera it's more work for me to put photo's on the computer. not hard work, but more work then i'm always willing to do. so when i have a bunch i will show them to you guys.

photography into poetry

so i've recently bought a new camera and i've very excited about it! it's a film version of the rebel ti slr. i've always loved taking photo's with my kodak point-and-shoot but i've also always loved the fancy photo's that artists take with their slr's. so jeremy has been letting me barrow his family's old slr camera so i can take some nice black and white photo's with it (i just love[!] black and white photo's!). And jeremy is an amature professional photographer so it helps a bunch when i have any questions. this is me using the old camera.

so you're asking why am i posting this here. well i'm posting this here because i'm excited about the inspiration the photo's will give me for my poetry. in one of my poetry books it says to look at photo's to try and get inspired. so i already have some photo's i can look at. but now i can take photo's whenever i want, without having to wait until i see jeremy again so i can use his slr, and take all the photo's i want. whatever strikes my fancy that i might get inspired later about i will just snap it and take it home with me. later on when i'm looking at my photo's i might get inspired by a photo i took and write a poem about it. so besides just being excited that i can take more photo's on my own with a fun new camera, i'm also excited about the poetry implications there are!

cantigny park

here i am at cantigny. jeremy took it while i was lining up a shot of my own. you can kinda see the flowers in the background. that place is so beautiful! i will definatly be having some flower poems coming up. the colors and the arragements of the flowers are just so inspiring! the shot on the right is another photo jeremy took. i'm sitting in front of a rose garden. jeremy said he decided to name the compostion mollie rose. and not just because i'm sitting in front of roses. this picture is a better representitive of what the flowers look at cantigny. it's just such a beautiful place it's unbelieveable! i can't wait until i get my pictures back. i will have to scan them into the computer but, that's ok. i will scan them in and then have the corisponding poem with it so you can see how i was inspired.