extra

so this isn't a post about my writing. but a picture i took at the chicago comic-con was posted on another blog. greek orthodox is a blog i've been following and the guy posts funny pictures of people in their costumes. alot of the time he will post storm tropper costumes that have been ultered. like a disco storm trooper. so this is the picture i sent him. i thought it was cool that he posted it on his blog. the blog is really cool. it has everything nerdy, escpically star wars stuff. so go there and check it out!

new books

so recently jeremy's school's (the university of wisconsin - parkside) art club had an art raffle and i won some awesome stuff. i got a cool coat and i also got hand bound books. i think they look amazing! i don't know what i'll use them for yet but i'm excited just to have them. here they are:

quoteables

here's some quotes that i've come across over the years and have inspired me in different ways. what i do is i have a spiral notebook and just number the pages and write down any quotes i like in the notebook. i make sure i put where the quote is from whenever possible; whether it is a person, from a book, or from a movie. i have one 300 page notebook filled front and back and i'm working on filling up another one. some quotes i have used in my scrapbooks and some have inspired me in my poetry. so i thought i would share some that i like. as time goes by i'm sure that i will be sharing more.

-"just cause i love you, and you love me it doesn't mean that we're meant to be." - jazmine sullivan
-"somewhere between good and evil, there's love." - ?
-"for only when free men write and speak truth will the exercise of arbitrary power be exposed and opposed." - ?
-"insanity is relative. it depends on who has who locked in what cage." - ray bradbury
-"anything can be a weapon if your holding it right." - ludo
-"after silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music - aldous huxley
-"people should fall in love with their eyes closed. just close your eyes. don't look." - andy warhol
-"unlike t.v, we cannot have too much science, despite its nuclear quirks. with science, ideas can germinate within a bed of theory, form and practice that assists their growth... but we, as gardeners, must beware... for some seeds are the seeds of ruin... and the most iridescent blooms are often the most dangerous." - v for vendetta
-"but tonight my voice fails me. silence is the best tune of farewell." - xu zhimo
-"but what is the difference between literature and journalism? ... journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. that is all." - oscar wilde
-"with the first link, the chain is forged. the first speech censored, the first thought frobidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably." - judge aaron satie

chicago poetry readings

so fun fun fun! monkeybicycle is holding some poetry readings in chicago and all should go! if nothing else support your local artists and hear their work. the first poetry reading is with rui on january 6th at 7pm at sheffields beer garden. and the second poetry reading they are doing is with orange alert on febuary 20th at 6pm at the whistler. and it seems that orange alert does poetry readings every month at the whistler so people should go! i haven't gone to a poetry reading since middle school. the writers club at my middle school used to go to a poetry reading once a month at the local library. so to say the least, it's been a long time. so go people! go to your local poetry readings and support your local arts!

edit: rui website says that it isn't doing a reading in january so i don't know for sure if the january one is happening. but the febuary one is for sure.

bright and early: whore of the 18th century

good morning everyone! i woke up today at 3am but oddly enough, i still got 7 hours of sleep last night. i went to bed early for i had a killer headache. but now the pain is gone and i woke up with ideas! i have been playing around with an idea i had gotten from jeremy that i posted about in this post. when i woke up this morning i just knew what i would write and finished the poem. i have it written out, but i don't think it's ready for final layout. but i will post what i have for now. and then if i decide that it needs some fixing, i will post the fixed/finished product. so here it is so far. i named it: whore of the 18th century.

I put a feather in my hair,
letting the world know who I am.
Let them stand and judge
for
I do the same to them about their profession.
While they scoff and laugh at me,
I will smile and wave my fan.
For they come home every night hating their job
and hating their life
while
I come home every morning
and enjoy my job and enjoy my life.
Life is too short to not have a little fun.
No,
I didn’t choose my profession,
but I’m not complaining about my lot in life.
I cannot change what has become,
so I will use it to my advantage.
I will pleasure those around me
and have a splendid time.

snow day

today it is snowing and i'm taking a personal day. i had already taken the day off from the comic shop so i could go to wisconsin, but the weather was bad last night so i didn't make the trip. so now i have the day off and it's snowing. there's nothing more fun then running around in the snow. or just watching the snow fall. so since i'm having a snow day i decided to do some of my favorite things. i'm going to drink lots of hott chocolate, watch movies, read my books and write until i can't write anymore. i'm sure many of the poems will be winter/christmas themed, but i'm ok with that. tis the season for things like that.

right now i'm reading the last book in the tamuli serious by david eddings: the hidden city. its a great fantasy story. with some love in it but it's the action that drives the writing. and the humor is great also. david eddings does a great job of writing believable people. i feel like i could meet these people in my every day life. i'm sad that david eddings won't be writing anymore, for he is dead. he died earlier this year. but he will live on in his wonderful books he wrote!

i'm also watching the mini-series band of brothers. it's a great series that hbo did. it's directed and written wonderfully. it based on the book written by stephen e. ambrose. i've loved the series for a long time and it's been out on dvd for awhile now, but it was too expensive for me to buy it. but i have an amazing boyfriend and jeremy bought it for me for christmas. he gave it to me early for fear of me buying it for myself.

well that is my snow day, i hope everyone else has a great snow day. or if you don't get snow where you are, just take a personal day. have a day where you do things that you love and that make you happy. there's nothing more fun. : D

edits part 2: the revenge

what i normally do when i write a poem is first i write it down on whatever is handy and right in front of me. whether its a piece of scrappaper, on the computer or on my hand. and then when i like it, i write it out on a fancy notebook that jeremy's sister janell got me. it's a really cool notebook personlized with all different pictures and stickers of things that i enjoy and inside jokes. well this morning i was putting my poem the peoples hero into the notebook. well as i was doing that i decided to rework my poem and found that i liked the reworked version better than the version i sent the people. it made me kinda angry for now i have big doubts about them picking my poem to get published. but i'm glad that i've reworked it and have a poem that i like now. not that i didn't like it before, but now i like it even better. if it doesn't get published, i will share it here with you guys so you can read it.

arizona

so for thanksgiving i went to arizona to visit with my family. it was the first thanksgiving i ever had with my dad so that was really nice. usually my mom would have me on thanksgiving and then my dad would get me that weekend. it was nice spending time with the family and getting to see everyone. i hadn't see my brother matt and my sister-in-law jenny since their wedding (which was 2 years ago) so that was really nice. after spending the weekend with them all i was compelled to write a poem about my nephew george who is three. so here it is, hope you like it. i named it: life is full of them.

You run in with no cares in the world
other than who’s going to be playing with you.
My sister,
your mother,
walks in slowly behind,
carrying everything that you could possibly need.
You dash from person to person
giving high-fives and kisses to all who ask.
You show us your toys
and have us run with you on the jungle gym.
When you don’t get your way
you cry to your mom
begging and pleading that she makes it right.
And all she can tell you back is that
sometimes,
life is full of disappointment.

death

so in the last couple of months some friends of mine family members have died and it has spurred me to write a poem about death. i finally have finished it and thought i would post it here. its strongly influenced by john donne's holy sonnet X. i love john donne's holy sonnets! holy sonnet X is my favorite and always influence's my death poems at least a little bit. so here's the poem i wrote, hope you like it.

The strongest of men fall to thee.
Smart or dumb,
rich or poor,
all are for your taking.
You know no bounds and
have no weaknesses.

And yet
I will not fall to thee.
Though some have called thee mighty,
you are nothing but an after thought to me.
For love
your greatest foe
protects me.
She shelters me with her guiding light.

Stand back,
oh mighty death,
and feel the stinging pains of love.

The People's Hero

so tonight i finally sent to superhero peom i was talking about in this post. i had the poem written since that post but just hadn't sent it out. so now i finally did. i named it The People's Hero. hopefully they will except it. i wrote about how a superhero just can't take the stress of saving the day, but yet knows that everyday he will still go out there and do it; for if nothing else people deserve to live. the poem will hopefully be part of a superhero anthology that is being put together. it would be really cool if it got published for my love for comics is just crazy! even if the peom doesn't get published as part of that anthology, maybe i can get graham crackers to some how publish it. whether it's on the website or just having my manager put it up at the store.

dr. horrible review

i wrote another review for graham cracker comics this week. it's for the comic dr. horrible. i think it is written much better then the last review i wrote. like i had said before, the more i do it, the better it will get. plus the comic was great so it was easy to write about. hope you like the review and hope you like the comic.

edits

so for the poem i posted yesterday i thought i would share a line i decided that didn't need to go in the poem. i was going to add it at the end, but then decided that the poem was fine how it was.

"with your truthiness and your
scrubs marathons
you stole my heart."

i thought the feeling was already convayed and it didn't need to be repeated.

the truthiness comes from the word stephen colbert created; which jeremy and i watch all the time; stephen colbert that is not truthiness. how do you watch a word? and then the scrubs marathons is from in the begining of our relationship we used to watch all his scrubs dvds, for i had never seen the episodes and scrubs is jeremy's favorite show. so here's some ideas behind the editing process.

one year

this is a poem i wrote for me and jeremy's one year anniversary.

You still make my heart go pitter patter
as if the world didn’t matter.
A year has gone by and
it’s still you and I.
With your toothy smile
and your
worn blue shoes,
you’ve danced your way into my heart.

less than three

so this weekend jeremy and i celebrated our one year anniversary (which is tomorrow). and by celebrate he was sick and i was taking care of him. he has strep throat, so that sucks major balls. he was amazing though and got me some amazing stuff. he bought me the new poets & writers magazine, which looks like to be a good issue. it has a list of the 50 best mfa colleges. so that will be cool to look at and see what the magazine lists as the top ranking colleges. he also bought me the latest poetry literature magazine. i would love to one day be published in there. it's my dream to get something in there one day. and i know i will one day! so it was just awesome that he got me that for our anniversary. he got me a couple other things, but it doesn't have to do with writing. so sorry guys, i'm keeping those details to myself. either way jeremy is amazing and i love him to death! i'm very excited about reading the too things he got me and i'm excited about all the poetry. i really have an amazing boyfriend. <3

what will they become?

so i've been working with the lines i came up with at work. here's the tidbits. i'm still working on the full poem versions.

"The years have muted your voice
and the years have blurred your face. "

"like water I tried to hold on,
you slipped though my fingers."

"While trying to hold onto the wind, you blew away."

"You still make my heart go pitter patter as if the world didn’t matter. "

memories

so this past weekend jeremy and i went letterboxing and walked around a beautiful forest perserve in romeoville, il. we found a bunch of different stamps and had a grand old time. jeremy stalked some animals so he could get some pictures. he got some good one's of a woodpecker and of a hawk. while we were at the park there was a swing set and since we are both kids at heart, we totally went and played on it. of course i was there with my point-and-shoot camera and took pictures of our day. and while looking at the pictures yesterday night it reminded me of some old (and i mean old, these were before i had any formal training) poems i had written many years ago. i remember when i wrote those poems. i was having a blah day and so i went to the park and took a notebook with me. i wrote a little bit about the what was happening around me and how i felt. so i thought i would share some new memories (the photo's from this weekend) with some old memories (the poetry from years and years ago). the first picture can explain its self. the second picture is jeremy stalking the woodpecker.


-one is never to old to play on the swings.

-a nice day brings all kinds of people outside. father and son. mother and her little ones. the swings creak as loud as the see-saws.

-when does a father decide that they are just your parent and not the one to push you on the tire swing?









-why does the woodpecker peck at a tree? is it for truth? or does it just look to make a hole in the tree's life. does the tree want truth? or does it just want a hole in its bark.

swag

i thought i would share the with you all the things i got at the book signing. here's my book and two of the three bumperstickers i got that night. the third bumpersticker is already on my car (i put it on that night) and it's a picture of just the wheel and the snake. also, the top signature is a copy of the author's that had died, robert jordan. that is in every book. the signature that i had gotten is the second one.

working at work

so today at work a bunch of little tidbits of poems hit me. and different parts that would go together hit me at different times. luckily i don't have to remember it all by heart, i get to write down my ideas as the hit me. when the full poems take bloom i will share them here. hopefully they will come out awesome. if nothing else, i will share the tidbits that have inspired me to write.

...called it macaroni

so last night i was talking to jeremy on the phone and he was telling me about renaissance art. he was saying that the reason you barely ever seen people smiling and showing their teeth is because their teeth were usually rotted out. so if you do see someone with their teeth showing then it means that they are probally in their teens. he also said that the prostitutes of the time would tell everyone they were a prostitute by wearing a feather in their hair. both of these tid-bits i didn't know and he said that he learned in art history. well when he was telling me about the feather in the hair (i keep wanting to write cap. hehe) i couldn't help but write a line or two of poetry in my head right away. it was too cool. i love when things like that happen. i have no idea what i'll write about, i only have a couple lines, but i think it will be fun just to finish what jeremy had started in my head. so now i'll be thinking about the poem at work all day and when i come home i'll probally have it all written out. woot woot for getting inspired just by talking on the phone about art history.

comic review: this time for reals

so this week at work at graham craker comics (which by the way, is a mouth full when you answer the phone and have to say that) my boss asked me to write a review for one comic and he promised he would send it out this time. well he came through and sent it and i got published on the website! i wrote a review for marvel holiday spectacular (the link takes you to where my review is). i haven't written a review in a long time so it's a little ruff. i like the review but i think i could have ended it better. the more i write though, the better i will get at it. either way i'm happy to present it. hope you enjoy it and hope it makes you want to go and read the comic.

the wheel of time turns

so last night i got to go and meet brandon sanderson who is the writer now for the wheel of time series. the original writer, robert jordan, died before he could finish the series. but he left many notes and instructions (even full chapters written) on how the series should be finished. his wife harriot hired brandon to finish the series. the first book of three, that brandon will be writing to finish the series, came out this tuesday and it's called the gathering storm. i posted earlier this week that i stopped reading vonnegut so i could read this book. well last night brandon had a book signing in my area so i made sure i went. while we were waiting for him to come out, the people passed out three different bumper stickers, each having to do with the book. only a geek about the books would understand (i already put one on my car). Brandon seemed like a really down to earth guy. he read a the first page of the first chapter. then he did some q&a. he didn't give any spoilers out, but he did talk about his work on the book. after the q&a he started signing books. i didn't stay so i could get him to personlize it, i got a book he had pre-signed and went home. i have to get up way to early in the morning for me to stand in line all night long to get him just to write mollie. either way it was way cool to go there and hear about how another writer goes about doing his work. he's a fantasy writer who has writen for teens as well as adults. his teen series seemed interesting so i think i might go get it. over all, i'm really happy i went and i would love to go to another book signing. if for nothing else to hear about how other authors go about their work.

prompts and practices

today before work at the comic shop i decided that i would do a writing excerise out of a book i haven't looked at in awhile. it's called prompts and practices by judy reeves. it's a cool book with a calendar for all 366 days out of the year. and with each day there is a little idea about what to write about for that day. it doesen't say how or what you should write. whether it's a poem, short story or prose. it just gives an idea and lets you run with it however you want. i really enjoy this book and it has some great ideas. for whatever reason i haven't looked at it recently so i thought i would open it again and see what today's prompt was. today's prompt was: it was a summer of blue-black nights. so i wrote this as my practice:


Kari sat on the front porch looking out into the world. Her chair was an old rickety thing that her grandfather had made when he first moved out west. Every time she rocked on the chair it creaked with a groaning of days long past. Even though her mother yelled at her not to sit in the chair, for she was scarred that the chair would break, the old chair was Kari’s favorite in the whole house. While rocking in the old chair Kari looked out into the wide open prairie of the west. Her family owned all the land around her to the point that she couldn’t see another house close to her. The closest person was 80 miles away in any direction. Kari liked it that way. It was like the land around her was her own personal ocean of green prairie and blue sky. Night time was her favorite time to site in the chair and look out into the world. The night was lit up with the stars and the prairie had a glow about it from the stars also. The world seemed so peaceful those nights. Tonight the sky was darkened. She couldn’t see the stars that well and the moon wasn’t shining like it normally did.
Kari heard the back door to the house slam and heard the old Chevy coaxed into being driven away. She ignored, for a moment, the silent sobs she heard from inside the house from her mother. All Kari could think about was that the sky wasn’t as beautiful as it normally is. Kari stood up and sighed. She opened the front door and walked into the house to help her mom with whatever she needed.


i must advise that i've just written this and it has had really no editing. but this is what came to my head when i read the prompt. there is a little symbolism with the sky not being as beautiful as it normally is with her family not working out as it should, but nothing too heavy handed i think. i like the short story i wrote and maybe one day i'll came back to it and expand on it. but for now i like it as it is.

thought for food

so i've been reading a bunch lately. i've bought so many books that i will be getting money back form borders next month. hurray! i've been reading for the mind and for the soul. for the mind i've read south park and philosophy and i've read some of xmen and philosophy. both books are a collection of different essays on different themes that south park and the xmen have struggled with. both are really smart books! though i will say that i've only read the first 2 essays in the xmen one. you might not like south park or the xmen comics, but both struggle with big ideas. ideas like: what makes us individuals, what makes us human, are we logical arguers, religion, politics and many other ideas. i strongly suggest to go and read them. and if you don't want to read those particular books, there are many others like: the office and philosophy, family guy and philosophy, metallica and philosphy; just to name a few. many of the essays in the two books i have read have made me think and have made me decided what i believe.

for the soul i've read mother night by kurt vonnegut, the gathering storm by robert jordan and brandon sanderson and i've bought the book sharp objects by gillian flynn (but i haven't read it yet). vonnegut is a genius and i love reading his stuff. i've read two others of his: slaughterhouse five and cats cradle. both were great books and when i saw that this one was for sale i had to get it. i'm almost through with it, i have 28 more pages to go. but i stopped for i got the book the gathering storm. i have been waiting for the book for a couple years now. it just came out today and i just had to jump right into it. i feel bad leaving mother night but i know i will be able to jump right back in when i'm done with the gathering storm. the gathering storm is the 12th book in the wheel of time series. it is the first full flegded fantasy series i've ever read and i just couldn't wait for the newest book to come out. i will fly through the book and be very sad when i'm done with it. there are only two more books left and then the series will be done. i will be VERY sad when the series is done. the wheel of time is what got me to love fantasy and fantasy has had a huge impact on my life. i just love(!) fantasy.

so those are the books i've been reading. it's always good to keep the mind active in deep critical thinking and in just some good old story. both are good for the mind and soul. both are good for the writer. it's always interesting to see how a writer creates their own story, it helps me find my own voice when i write.

dictonary writing exercise

so this morning i did a writing exercise to just keep my mind working. this comes from the same book i talked about in this post, the daily writer by fred white. i put two different exercises into one. one was to build your vocabulary list and then the other was the at random open up the dictionary and jot down any word you didn't know and then use it in a poem. so i put them together and opened up the dictionary at random and wrote down any words i didn't know into my notebook. then after i have a bunch of different words i tried to use them in different sentences.

for example: ripsnorter - something extraordinary. sentence: marianne's wedding dress was ripsnorter.

so i did a bunch of those. and while writing those sentences different ideas come to me about what kind of story i would write that would use these kinds of words. i remember doing things like this in middle school and high school. and it seems like just busy work, but i think it is a valuable tool (now that i'm older) to help build my vocabulary skills.

ps- when i used spell check for this post, blogger said that ripsnorter wasn't a word.

i will eat you!

so this past weekend i went and saw where the wild things are. it was a wonderful movie! i was a little worried because the book is very short and has barely any words. thankfully the movie was great! it quotes the book and uses more imagery than words to tell the story. which i think follows the book wonderfully! the book was written by maurice sendak. the movie was written by spike jonze (he also directed it) and dave eggers. i think the they did a wonderful job adapting sendak's work into the movie. i think they made the right choice by having the imagery tell more of the story then actual words. sometimes in life words can't say how you fell and imagery is the only way; whether it's a smile or a bite on the arm or a pat on the butt.

so your wondering why i'm writing about this in my blog? well i'm writing about it because it's just a well written movie and i thought i would share with everyone why i thought so. even though i hate critics, and i'm pretty much being one in this post, i just had to share that this movie was well written!

time

so my normal job has changed my hours, which is good news for i will have more time to work on my writings now. before i worked from 8:30am-5pm, now i work from 7am-3:30pm. so when i get home i can sit down and write and whatnots. so i think i will do that today when i get home from work. i haven't had a good writing day in awhile. so it will feel nice. i can work on my poetry manuscript, my letterboxing article and a bunch more. and i can work late into the night for i don't have to be at work tomorrow until 11am. plus i just got a bunch of pictures i took back from the developers so now i have some really nice photo's for some inspirational poetry. so overall i'm in for a good writing night. i'll make some hott chocolate and just sit in front of the computer and work. it will feel really nice when i'm done for the evening. a writing night always does. i always have a sense of accomplishment when i'm done for the night, for usually i get a bunch done. plus when i'm done for the night i usually have whatever thoughts that have been bothering me writen out and thought over; so they aren't just in my head anymore. so i strongly suggest everyone have a writing night, they will make you feel great in the end.

death knocks

with halloween in mind here's my 'spooky' poem:

when death knocks on my door
i smile
for we are old friends
playing a game of cat and mouse
when finally i embrace him in the end.

i realize that this is about death, but halloween tends to be about that. i also realize that this isn't spooky. this is also not a new poem. i wrote this last year at halloween time. a guy i know had drawn a skeleton-like picture on a dry erase board and i had added this poem to go with it. so i thought i would share it with everyone here.

catching up

so i've finally wrote out my superhero poem. i'll be sending it off to the place today when i get back from work. i haven't been writing too much lately for i've just been sooo tired from work; that i come home and just flop into bed. but i've stretched and i'm ready to go now.

with halloween coming up, i think i'll write something a little spooky just for fun and share it here with everyone.

on a sad note, a friend of mine's grandmother died this past weekend and ever since i've heard the news i've had a poem ratteling around in my head. once i actually write it out, i'm going to send it to his mother (i was really close with his family). and i'll also share it with everyone here.

letterboxing

this is me letterboxing. it was such a nice fall day that jeremy and i decided to go and look for some. that day i had found 3 different stamps. one at carthage college (where the picture was taken) and 2 at the racine zoo. this is tons of fun to do and is great for all ages. and 9 times out of 10 you get to see some beautiful landscape. like lake michigan in the background of this photo.

what does this have to do with writing? well i've been reading more and more magizines and there are a bunch about the outdoors. well i was looking to see how they get their articles and a bunch of them have at least 50% freelance articles. so i've decided that i'm going to write an article about letterboxing and the great outdoors. i think letterboxing will be a great article for an outdoor magizine. espically one that promotes different things you can do out doors; like a state magazine.

nature

well this is me with my awesome new camera. i've taken about 4 rolls of film with it already, and i'm itching to do more. last weekend i was in wisconsin and i took a really cool one of a tiger, a kangaroo, and a tree with lake michigan as the background. well the tree one, jeremy kept a copy so that he can use it as a starting point in a painting he is going to do. which i think it just amazing! i feel touched that he liked my photo so much for he's an amature professional photographer. and it's really one of my favorites i've taken so far. it's really inspired me to write about nature in some poetry. eventually i'll put some of the photo's that have inspired me to write on here. because i use a film camera it's more work for me to put photo's on the computer. not hard work, but more work then i'm always willing to do. so when i have a bunch i will show them to you guys.

wisconsin review

well yesterday i sent two poems to the wisconsin review. hopefully they will get published. they are two poems that i think work great as a set. i wrote them in the style of america tanka. the american tanka magazine isn't accepting works right now, so i thought i would send these poems somewhere else. hopefully they will get in. but wisconsin review says it takes 4-6 months to get a response. sigh. oh well. i like them and think that they are worthy of getting published, so lets hope that the wisconsin review thinks so also.

no comic review

well graham cracker comics did not use my review for the dark avengers i wrote. i was a little sad when i saw that but there's nothing i can do. they used someone else's review for the comic. this person's review was way meaner then mine was. so whatever. reviews and i don't get along anyways. i don't like critics and that's what i am when i write a review. but now that they didn't post my review, i'm determined to write another one and have them post that one. i will have them post one of mine! once they do i will put the link here so you all can read it. i will have a review with graham cracker comics posted!

edit: so i talked to my boss and the reason my review didn't get published for graham crackers is because he didn't send it in. way to go jimmy (my boss).

on getting published

while i'm excited about the many different projects i'm working on i figured i should share the good with the bad. not everything i work on will be published. that is just a fact. sadly. and i figured if i'm going to do an accurate blog about a writers world i should share some of the downs as well as the ups. so here are some of my writing downs. usually i have about 4 different poems out in the world getting looked at to see if they will get published. and this morning i just got an email from beeswax magazine saying that they didn't accept my poem i sent them. which makes me a little sad. i thought it was a good poem. but the key to sending your stuff out into the writing world is that you must have tuff skin. and i do, it just makes me a little sad to see my stuff not get accepted. but i like the poem and think it is worthy to get published so i'm going to send it somewhere else.

i have a mini up for getting published. i sent a poem to golf coast literary journal and it had been a little bit since i had heard anything, so i sent an inquiry about it. they emailed me back saying that they are still looking at it and i will have an answer soon. so hopefully that means they will publish my poem. the poem i sent them is my favorite that i've written so far and i truly think it deserves to get published. and if i get published with this place, i get paid! woot woot for that.

getting published is hard so when i do get picked i jump for joy. i've been published twice, i've won a writing contest at the university of wisconsin-parkside that paid me a $200 bond and i used to write for uw-parkside's newspaper so i got published in that once a week. so that is always nice. now if only i could get published more. but hey this all just comes with the territory. it's a hard business out there. but if i can keep my skin tuff and stick it out, i just know i can make it.

photography into poetry

so i've recently bought a new camera and i've very excited about it! it's a film version of the rebel ti slr. i've always loved taking photo's with my kodak point-and-shoot but i've also always loved the fancy photo's that artists take with their slr's. so jeremy has been letting me barrow his family's old slr camera so i can take some nice black and white photo's with it (i just love[!] black and white photo's!). And jeremy is an amature professional photographer so it helps a bunch when i have any questions. this is me using the old camera.

so you're asking why am i posting this here. well i'm posting this here because i'm excited about the inspiration the photo's will give me for my poetry. in one of my poetry books it says to look at photo's to try and get inspired. so i already have some photo's i can look at. but now i can take photo's whenever i want, without having to wait until i see jeremy again so i can use his slr, and take all the photo's i want. whatever strikes my fancy that i might get inspired later about i will just snap it and take it home with me. later on when i'm looking at my photo's i might get inspired by a photo i took and write a poem about it. so besides just being excited that i can take more photo's on my own with a fun new camera, i'm also excited about the poetry implications there are!

comic review

so i've written my first review for graham cracker comics. i wrote a review for the dark avengers #9. when it's up, i'll put a link so you all can go and read my review. i'm not a huge fan of writing reviews. i feel so weird putting my opinion out there saying whether something was good or not. who am i to say that. but my boss asked me to do it this week and so i did. i liked it enough that i'll probally do it more often.

will you be my superhero?

so i've started working on my superhero poetry. i was listening to different kinds of music yesterday at work and it got me inspired. i was listening to the spiderman soundtrack from the first movie. there's a song on there called hero by nickleback (i believe) and it got me thinking. i also listened to the song invincible by ok go. both of those song i wrote down some lyrics that got my mind thinking about the dilemma's of a superhero. so then i started jotting down some quick stanza's that were popping into my mind. today i'm going to try and put a more coherent poem together. the place i'm submitting my work to is taking up to 6 poems. so if some of the stanza's don't work together, i can try and use them in another poem. the poetry is supposed to be about the superhero condition (instead of the human condition). i quote from their website: "Superman. Batman. Wonder Woman. Spiderman. Each of these characters is an American superhero, born out of such ideals and idiosyncrasies as magic, the supernatural, the marginalized, and the desire to rise above circumstance and not only ‘fit in,’ but become a role model of sorts. America has long been fascinated with the expression of super-individuality—as if we can all be larger than life. Our obsession with the “invincible self” manifests itself in the form of superheroes. This anthology is meant to illuminate—through poetry—the nuances of such a relationship with self and the “large” individual." so i'm totally excited about writing these poems. i think i have a good shot at getting published in this anthology. but one never knows and can just hope. so keep your fingers crossed!

controversy writing exercise

so i'm always on the look out for different books that will help me write. whether it's inspirational books, how to books or anything else that will help me with writing. well i have a book called the daily writer by fred white. it's sub title is 366 meditations to cultivate a productive and meaningful writing life. so every page in the book is a different day and it then gives you a different inspiration on what to write that day. well for day july 3 the idea is controversy. and the idea was to write both sides of a controversy in a story. don't have them spewing crap at each other without listening, actually have it as a meaningful conversation. besides the writing excersice it also helps you look at both sides of a controversy that you probally wouldn't normally look at. well i picked abortion. which in our country is a HUGE controversy; to say the least. (and if you know me, you know me as a huge advocate for the right of choice. but choice in all things, i just believe that you should be allowed to have the choice. you have every right to not want an abortion but it's when you say i can't have one either then, because you think it's wrong, is when i dissagree with you.) so i went to the library and got a whole bunch of books on abortion. i made sure that i got pro-choice books and pro-life books. and then i just started reading the books and wrote down in my notebook, anything i thought that was important. i'm not fully satisfied with all the imformation i have; though i think it's one of those issues that i would never be fully satisfied. but i've started to plot out what the charactors would say to each other. what one person would start out to say and then finding the counter agrument in the notes i have. it's been really interesting look at the other side of the table and seeing what their arguement would be. this story isn't anything i would publish but it's a great writing exercise. i've enjoyed it so far and i'm looking forward to actually writing out the story.

making ranting into reality

so i've actually sat down and thought about a manners book. not just me ranting and thinking i should do it. i've actually come up with some ideas of what could happen in the book. for sure i would need a scene on the train. most of my human contact with manners comes from me riding the train back and forth from my boyfriend jeremy's house to my house. i would have a couple scenes that depict different things that have happened to me before on the train. it's just a must! too much has happened to me on the trian that is just horribly rude. but to add another part that would need to be added to the book would be car music. i know when i'm in my car, i play my music loud. but i don't do it at the wee hours in the morning. and i don't have it so loud that even with my windows closed, my neighbors can hear it on the second floor. that's just crazy loud and uncalled for at 5am. again, manners people, manners! so yeah, i'm actually plotting out a manuscript for this manners book. we will see how it goes.

in other news. there is a poetry site that is looking for superhero poetry. well that's just up my ally! the poem is supposed to be about the idea of the superhero. so yeah, i'm totally going to write something to go for that. hopefully it will get picked and then published! that would just be amazing! for i'm totally in love with comics and poetry. it's like the best of both worlds.

celebrate banned books!

banned books manifesto

banned books week september 26 - october 3 2009.

a little bit of this, a little bit of that

well i've fully come to realize that i won't make the contest for the end of this month. sigh, but these things happen. i'm still going to be working on my manuscript, for i think it is important for me to finish. i'll have a great sense of accomplishment and it will be nice to have a finished "book" under my belt. i put book in quotes for it's just a manuscript, but i would love for it to be a book.

i've written another poem. it has a person looking back on a relationship and seeing how things matched and how things went wrong. again if you want to read it i'll email it to you, just shoot me a message.

this past sunday i went and saw the phantom of the opera, which is my all time favorite musical out there! i just love it and know it by heart. so it was amazing to finally see it in the flesh. i wasn't let down! it inspired me to want to write more songs. i've written one before for my ex's band article. they named the song 'so sorry' i don't know if they still play it. i'm sure they don't. but the song was different poetry i wrote put all together and then i added a little bit more so the song would be more coherant. the only problem with me writing a song, is that i'm not in a band, so i would have to get someone else's band to take my lyrics and put it to music. well thankfully i know a bunch of bands. so i'm sure i can get someone to take it. well as a parting gift, here's the song i wrote called so sorry:

"just put it to your lips and have another drink
it won't drown your fears but you think it will
fine ruin your life
just have another drink
late night out
someone else's perfume on you
hair a mess when i haven't touched you
who is this girl you cheat on me with?
what does she have that i don't have?
we say sorry
no one means it
don't say it
just keep on blaming me for everything everyone it's ok
your fist meets her face
bruises all over her body
you say she needs discipline
you say she's broken the rules
you say it's not your fault she needs to be punished
we say sorry
no one means it
don't say it
justt keep on blaming me for everything everyone it's ok"

contests

so i found another poetry book contest that i can send my manuscript to. acutally i know there are many different ones i can send it to if i don't make this contests that the deadline is at the end of this month. i'm pretty sure now i won't make this deadline. but the contest that i just found which is through truman state university, the deadline is october 31. so i can definatly make that deadline. plus then i can refine my poetry and not be rushed or anything. either way i'm totally excited about my manuscript. i know i keep saying that, but i'm soooo stoked about it!

manners part 3 - the rise of manners

so this past weekend my sister marianne and her son george came to stay. they are from oregon and are in town for a month. which i think is really nice. the great thing is that manners on my nephew are not forgotten. my sister has done a really good job teaching george to say please and thank you. it was amazing. so i will defiantly have to have a part in my manners book where some people/kids know their manners. and not just have everyone not know their manners. plus i think it will be a more believable story if some people do know their manners.

comics

so i've gotten a part time job at graham crackers comic book store. it's within walking distance to my place and i get to sell/talk comics all day long. how amazing is that?! i'll only be working one day a week, which means i only have 1 day a week off now. but i'm ok with that for i need the money's. what does this have to do with writing? well, i will be working on wednesday's when the new comics come out for the week. and from time-to-time the comic book store will have an artist or writer there that wednesday to sign comics. well after the day is done the workers at graham crackers take the artist/writer out to dinner as a thankyou for being at our store for the day. so i'll get to sit and chit-chat with someone in the industry of comics (which i would love to write for) and see how it's all done. if i can get my foot in the door that way that would be amazing!

i've thought about writing for comics before. i htink it would really cool. i'm not an artist so i would always have to collaberate with someone to get the finished product, but there are many writers out there that have to do that with comics; same for just artists who can't write. it would be cool to see your written word into a picture. to have your idea inspire the artist to finish the whole project of the comic.

so it continues

so i worked on my manuscript and i have about 20 poems now. i don't know if i'll finish in time for the contest, but i'll just be glad to have a finished manuscript. i put the tuna poem (that i talked about in this post http://mollietherose.blogspot.com/2009/07/tuna.html ) in it, and i added the dream poem i talked about in my last post. i think those will be good additions. i'm pretty excited about this and have a feeling it will turn out great.

dreams

so this past weekend jeremy was over and he had a really wierd dream but i totally want to use it in a poem somehow. he dreamt that he was taking pictures of people/things and that the people were alive and all but the photo his camera would show the people would be dead and decayed.

also i dreamt last night that an ex-boyfriend was trying to light me on fire. i was trapped in a glass container and i was laying in oil and my ex lit the oil on fire and it coming towards me. i had to break out of the container before the fire got to me, but by the time i broke out, my hair was on fire. so that part is totally part of a poem i started. i really like the poem i have coming from that dream. i know it sounds creepy but i think it will be a kickass poem in the end.

manuscript is a go

so i've been working on my manuscript of poetry. and it's been going pretty smoothly. i'm getting pretty excited about it. all other projects have taken a back burner until i'm done with this one. espically since there's a deadline at the end of the month. so i've got to get moving. i don't like being rushed, espically with my poetry, but i really want to be part of this contest so i guess i will be a little bit. if i win sweet! if i odn't, well that happens. i'll be happy just to have a finsihed manuscript. i've looked at my old poetry that isn't up to publishing standards, and i've revamped them so i can put them in my manuscript. i've also written some new stuff to be put in there. i wrote a new poem about riding the train from wisconsin to illinois. that sounds boring but i think it's interesting for i put images of "normal" america in the poem. i'd post the poem but publishing companies consider posting poetry online as being published before. so i have to keep my stuff that i want published off the internets. if you really want to read it i can send it to you. just give me your email i will make sure you get it.

manners part 2.

i really am contemplating this manners book. for today at work i went to the bathroom and as i sat on the toilet i realized it was wet! it's a female only bathroom so how the hell(!) did the toilet get all wet?! wait, i don't want to konw. either way i'm sitting in grossness. whoever used the bathroom before me couldn't have wiped the toilet down? arg!!!!! to say the least, it was gross. it made me really contemplate writing a manners book. people are continously showing me how much they fail as humans. i wish i could do this to them: http://www.bunny-comic.com/1401.html

though i will point out that some of my faith in humanity was restored this weekend. i was on the train and i hadn't been asked to purchase a ticket. so when the conductor showed i asked him if i could by a weekend pass for the train. he said that they were all sold out and that i would have to get it at the train station. which is no big deal. well, while i was getting off the train a couple asked me if i would like their ticket for they are home and won't need the ticket anymore. i thought that was so nice of them! so i guess there are some nice people out there. they are just far and few inbetween. so maybe in my manners book i will have some people who know their manners.

life of pi

so they say that writers should read for fun and they should read for writing. it helps in both ways to work your mind. so i thought i would share the books i've read for both pleasure and for strengthing my writing mind.

well i just recently finished reading life of pi, which i read just for fun. it was a pretty good book. i liked the images and the ideas in the book. the only problem i had with the book is the ending. the main character retells his story for some investigators only instead of using animals he uses real people. well in the retelling of the story it gives the story a more, relife feel, but i think the ideas are a little lost because the author is overhanding the reader the ideas the author wants to get across. i don't think the author needed the ending. but that is just me. otherwise, i liked the book.

the story of a woman in poetry.

so i've started working on my manuscript for the contest and i'm very excited about it. i've decided that my poetry will have a loose theme of telling the story of a woman's life. different events that can happen. i have no clue what i will call the manuscript. the nice thing is that if i don't win this contest, i will have a manuscript all done and can send it to other contests that want full manuscripts. i've never worked on making one so i've never sent my stuff to those contests. i've got about 12 poems so far that are ready to go. hurray!

i've added a new website to the side of this blog. actually i've added a bunch of new one's, but this particular website is for artists that live in the chicago area. so if that is you, you might want to check this website out.

writing contest

well good karama has kicked in for once. you see karma and i are not friends. we do not text each other, but yet karma likes to kick me in the ass. well karma has owed me a big one and maybe finally it's paying back. you see jeremy got an email yesterday about a writing contest. he doesn't konw why it came to him (he's not a writer, heck he barely reads) and he doesn't know why he opened it. but he did. and when he saw it was a writing contest he forwarded it off to me. well i opened it and actually read the email and couldn't believe my eyes. it's a contest for a collection of poetry or short fiction stories. if you win the contests you get your collection published and you get 10 free copies of the book plus $1000. so after i read the email i went to the website and checked it all out. and i've decided i'm going to try for it. everything is due august 31st. and if i shut myself in a little bit, i know i can get it done. i'm totally excited about it and know i will start working on it tonight.

cantigny park

here i am at cantigny. jeremy took it while i was lining up a shot of my own. you can kinda see the flowers in the background. that place is so beautiful! i will definatly be having some flower poems coming up. the colors and the arragements of the flowers are just so inspiring! the shot on the right is another photo jeremy took. i'm sitting in front of a rose garden. jeremy said he decided to name the compostion mollie rose. and not just because i'm sitting in front of roses. this picture is a better representitive of what the flowers look at cantigny. it's just such a beautiful place it's unbelieveable! i can't wait until i get my pictures back. i will have to scan them into the computer but, that's ok. i will scan them in and then have the corisponding poem with it so you can see how i was inspired.

sestina

so i love it when i find styles of poetry to write in. this time i've found sestina poetry. now that i've found it i am going to have to try and write in this style. i think this might take some time, but it will be cool in the end. here's the description of what sestina poetry is. sestina poetry is a highly structured poem consisting of six six-line stanzas followed by a tercet (called its envoy or tornada), for a total of thirty-nine lines. The same set of six words ends the lines of each of the six-line stanzas, but in a different order each time; if we number the first stanza's lines 123456, then the words ending the second stanza's lines appear in the order 615243, then 364125, then 532614, then 451362, and finally 246531. This organization is referred to as retrogradatio cruciata ("retrograde cross"). These six words then appear in the tercet as well, with the tercet's first line usually containing 1 and 2, its second 3 and 4, and its third 5 and 6. sounds crazy doesn't it? well here's an example to help explain how it's written:

Sestina by Elizabeth Bishop

September rain falls on the house.
In the failing light, the old grandmother
sits in the kitchen with the child
beside the Little Marvel Stove,
reading the jokes from the almanac,
laughing and talking to hide her tears.

She thinks that her equinoctial tears
and the rain that beats on the roof of the house
were both foretold by the almanac,
but only known to a grandmother.
The iron kettle sings on the stove.
She cuts some bread and says to the child,

It's time for tea now; but the child
is watching the teakettle's small hard tears
dance like mad on the hot black stove,
the way the rain must dance on the house.
Tidying up, the old grandmother
hangs up the clever almanac

on its string. Birdlike, the almanac
hovers half open above the child,
hovers above the old grandmother
and her teacup full of dark brown tears.
She shivers and says she thinks the house
feels chilly, and puts more wood in the stove.

It was to be, says the Marvel Stove.
I know what I know, says the almanac.
With crayons the child draws a rigid house
and a winding pathway. Then the child
puts in a man with buttons like tears
and shows it proudly to the grandmother.

But secretly, while the grandmother
busies herself about the stove,
the little moons fall down like tears
from between the pages of the almanac
into the flower bed the child
has carefully placed in the front of the house.

Time to plant tears, says the almanac.
The grandmother sings to the marvelous stove
and the child draws another inscrutable house.

action baby!

yesterday was amazing for my brain for two reasons!

the first one was jeremy and i went to cantigy park and took awesome artsy photo's. i can't wait to get my photo's for there's a couple that made a poem line stick out in my head. so i'm really excited to get the photo's back so i can finish the thoughts that are in my head. and the reason i have to wait to get the photo's is because i used a film camera, just incase your wondering.

the second reason yesterday was awesome for my brain is because i got to sit in on a nothing special productions (nsp) practice for their next show. which i have to say is giong to be amazing! if anyone live's in the chicago area, i strongly suggest going. but watching them perform and just run read through's and then interacting with each other really helped my idea i have. and watching mikey as the director made my mind explode! i loved it. his actions and everything really insipired an image for my director.

so all in all yesterday was a very good brain storming day!

theatre

so yesterday i talked to my friend nick who is the president of a theatre group called nothing special productions (http://www.nothingspecialproductions.com/) and he has kindly agreed to let me sit in on their practices for their next show. i asked if i could do this because i have a story idea that has to do with people in a theatre group and it's been so long since i've been in a show that i asked if i could sit in on their practice to get some ideas flowing in my head. he said that is fine and so this sunday i'm going to be sitting in on their practice. i'm excited to do it! i have some questions that i'm giong to ask some people after their practice but other than that i'm just goign to watch them and just write down everything that helps me with my story. i haven't decided if this story will be a fiction story of if i'll try to write it out as a play. either way i'm excited to sit in on their practices. and then of course i'll go to one of the showings of the play.

tuna

so today i wrote a poem about when i had gone to the store for my mom and instead of buying 2 cans of tuna i bought 20 cans. i totally thought her list said 20. but it didn't. hehe. it's a poem that i will never send to get published. it would only probally get published if i was making a book of poetry and even then that depends. so it's just a fun little poem. here's a link to it. this website i post my poetry for people to read. so feel free to go to it and read my stuff.

tuna poem

manners

so i take the train when i go and visit jeremy. which means i'm on the train a bunch of the time. and it also means i'm with people a bunch of the time. and i learned from a writing class that the best way to write people perfectly is to observe people. you'll get down their manerism, speech patterns and things like that. well i have observed people and decided that people have the worst manners in the world these days! no excuse me's. kids are mean to their parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles. also parents don't discpline their children. and i understand you're in a public place but i'm sorry, sometimes children need to be disciplined right then and there. heck, some of the parents i've seen need to be disciplined. i'm not saying i'm perfect, but i was raised to be respectful, always say please and thank you, excuse me. so i've decided that i might have to write a manners book for our time period. i know it seems out of date but man people need one. it will be a fiction story but the story will be driven by manners. hopefully someone will take it to heart and learn something!

writing

so i've decided to change this blog just a little bit. it's not just going to be about my one story i'm writing but i'll post about all the works i'm working on. for i have a bunch of different things that i'm working on. so here's my first post in that field. i'm still working on my story. but i'm also working on getting published with some poetry. i have 4 different poems sitting out in the world waiting to here back from the magazine's to see if i will get published. also there's a magazine that wants a flash fiction story about the first time a person had sex. so i'm trying to come up with something for that. mine wasn't all that eventful (not saying it wasn't enjoyable, but it's wasn't like 'holy crap amazing!'). and so i don't know what i'll write. but then again i could just have it as the person not overly enjoying it. i'll have to think on it. and i have time before the deadline.

that is the question

so i've decided to have shakespeare's monoluge of hamlet's to be or not to be in my story. i know it's a little over handing the suicide thing. but that's the whole point of the book. i'm going to have the main character (sarah) be studying it for a class and so it will continusly pop up in the book. little parts will show when it coinsides with a scene or an emotion sarah is feeling. in case your wondering what the monologue is here you go, in all of shakespeare's amazingness.


HAMLET: To be, or not to be--that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep--
No more--and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep--
To sleep--perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th' oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th' unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country, from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprise of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action. -- Soft you now,
The fair Ophelia! -- Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remembered.

facts and figures

i've been looking up facts about suicide and saw some of these figures:

- The WHO (world health organization) notes that over one million people commit suicide every year, and that it is one of the leading causes of death among teenagers and adults under 35. (1)
- Men are three times more likely to attempt suicide than women, but rates among women have risen alarmingly fast in the last decade. (1)
- Worldwide, suicide rates have increasedby 60% over the last 50 years, and the increase has been particularly marked in developingcountries. Most suicides in the world occur in Asia, which is estimated to account for up to 60%of all suicides. China, India and Japan - because of their large populations - may account for up to 40% of all world suicides. (2)
- People die by suicide more often during spring and summer. The idea that suicide is more common during Christmas is a common misconception. (3)
-Sati is a Hindu funeral practice in which the widow would immolate herself on her husband's funeral pyre, either willingly, or under pressure from the family and in-laws. (4)
-Many religions consider suicide an offense towards God due to religious belief in the sanctity of life.
-Japanese views on honor and religion led to seppuku, one of the most painful methods of suicide, to be respected as a means to atone for mistakes or failure. (5)

footnotes:
1)http://www.rferl.org/content/article/1071203.html
2)http://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/suicide/wspd_2008_statement.pdf
3)http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/assets/alert16.pdf
4)http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/learningenglish/news/words/general/020807_witn.shtml
5)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seppuku (i realize it's wikipedia, but it does have some uses)

*i thought Sati was the most interesting. i've spent a crap load of time looking it up and i think i've gotten another story idea around it. so i've writing out my idea's for it and tucked it away for when i'm done writing this story. either way i found it way interesting and will probally go to the library today and take more notes about it.

critics

so i was looking at my book of quotes i have. it's a spiral that i have that when i find a quote i like i write it down (i'm on my second one now). and i came across this quote that goes perfectly with what i was saying about critics and symbolism.

"a critic can only review the book he has read, not the one which the writer wrote." - mignon mclaughlin.

little by little

so i had been stuck a little bit for what to put after the opening scene (which is the death scene) and then the first scene after wards (which goes back to start to tell about her life). but now i've figured it out and i'm very excited about it. i won't get to write it until tonight, but i'm ok with that. i get to think about it in the back of my head all day long at work. and any major ideas i'll write down on a piece of paper and just stick it in my pocket. then tonight i'll pull it out and get going! : ) i'm very excited about this story. i think it has great potentional.

last of the mohicans

so i bought the barnes and boble classic version of the last of the mohicans by james fenimore cooper and that means after the story there are notes that a professor has written to help you along the story. usually there's a time gap from when the book was written to today, so the notes are really just to help with loctions or maybe the author quotes another book form the time; and the notes in the back just help explain what the quotes was. well at the beginning of every chapter in the book there is a quote from poetry or verse drama, like shakespears plays. and there's a note about it in the back of the book. the note says: "american novelists of this era widely employed the convention of using passages from poetry of verse drama as chapter epigraphs in prose ficiton. the procatice followed the example of the scottish novelist walter scott and helped give novels (still considered a frivolous form of reading) the veneer of higher culture - which is why so many epigraphs are taken from canonical writers like shakespeare." now i thought this was interesting. that fiction novels were considered a low art of literature and that people needed to quote shakespeare at the beginning of chapters to make it more worth wild to read. that just blows my mind. i guess its because today literature is considered a higher art. espically a book like last of the mohicans. for today it is considered a classic and one (by most critics) that is thought of as a book that everyone should read. i know critics don't know what they are talking about, but it still blew my mind about how authors would put quotes from other works to make their book better.

i know that really dosen't have anything to do with my book. but it does. in the sence that i wouldn't put quotes in the beginning of my chapters unless there's some message i wanted to convay with those quotes. i wouldn't try to to just put them there for to try to make it a higher art. but i don't have to anymore. literature writing is considered a higher art.

33 does not always equal jesus.

so i thought i would elaberate on why i don't like symbolism. my buddy rhode explained it best.
"You know, it's not that symbolism is bullshit, it's just that it should actually deal with the action of the story. I think where symbolism becomes tedious and stupid is when it's not so much symbolic of what's physically happening to the characters but rather is just heavy imagery that invokes some kind of tone or mood that was already implied by what was happening. So yeah, fucking use symbolism, just make sure it adds to the action of the story, not just the "way the story feels."" he posted that on my facebook. and i agree with his statement. what bothers me is when critics and teachers teach a book's meaning when the author has never said one way or another. when an author has a character die and aged that same chacter 33. so the critic would say that the author was paralling jesus' life with that character. and if the author has never come out and said that how does the critic know? they don't. they are assuming. and i hate assumtions. 'assuming makes an ass out of you and me.'

so that's why it's such a big deal to me that i'm using symbolism. for i'm using it the way i hate it. but i'm going to use the colors as part of the action of the story also. if that makes sence. colors can be part of action. so yeah. i hope that explains it better why i don't like symbolism. though i am explaining that i'm using those things for the symbol. so yes critics you can say that now. i give you permission.

indesign

so there are advantages of having a graphic designer/artist as a boyfriend. i was talking to jeremy last night and he said that after i have my story all written out in word i should send it to him so he can put it in indesign and then make it all fancified. since i'm not doing numbered/titled chapters he said he can make sure i have the right dashes inbetween my sections and other things like that. and then after he has it in indesign he would make it a pdf. i actually don't remember what the advantage is of that, but i'm sure it's only good. jeremy wouldn't steer me wrong.

inspiration

so i was just in the shower, yes i realize it's 12:30pm and i'm just now showering, and i wasn't really thinking about anything when it hit me how to set up the chapters for the book. instead of your normal chapters i'm giong to do it in just scenes. some chapters in some books are many days and many different scenes. i'm giong to just have it be in short spurt of a scene and then it will be a new chapter. the biggest thing is that i don't want the time line to matter. the only thing about the time line that matters is that these scenes happen before she kills herself. ("Time line?!?!? This is no time to argue about time! We don't HAVE the time! ..."- the movie star trek: first contact)

inspiration tends to come to me like that. i'll be at work and i'll just being typing away (i do data entry) and all of a sudden it will hit me on how to write something; and so i'll have to scribble away real quick and then i'll go back to work. if i want to get something done, i have to not think about it and then it will hit blindside. which to me makes it all the sweeter. sometimes i'll be in the middle of a converstion and i'll have to write something down real quick because i totally just figured something out for my writing.

x-acto

so i was writing and to have the girl kill herself i'm using the old slit your wrists way. well i'm having her use an x-acto knife. well when i was writing it i originally put exacto knife. i spell how things sound. (and in case you don't really know me, i'm a horrible speller. but i say that is why there are editors. hehe.) microsoft word told me i spelled the word wrong. so i right clicked the word to see how it was spelled, and there was nothing like my word. so i messaged jeremy (my boyfriend) and asked him how to spell the word (he uses them all the time for art). and he said it's x-acto. so i typed that in and microsoft word still yelled at me. well i know that jeremy spelled it right, so i just made word add it to the dictionary. i was just surprised that it didn't already have the word in the program. but i guess that it can't every word konw to man in the english dictionary in the word program.

day one

so this is my first post for my new fiction story i'm writing. so far i've decided to call the story different days. i'll have to wait and see if that stays or not. the story is about a girl who goes through life and in the end kills herself. the point is that i want to show that suicide is out there and that many people die from it. most stories i've come across that have suicide tend to have the character live. well i'm not having that. people die.

so far i have the death scene and the beginning of the first chapter. i am using some symbolism. which i'm a huge person against. why does there have to be symbolism in everything? there isn't. sometimes i just want it to rain, not because the characters are sad am i having it rain (the great gatsby). but i'm using two colors for the meaning behind it. green (midori) for the meaning of eternal life, youth, and misforutne. and blue for the meaning puirty, feminity, life, stability, and depression. also i'm naming the main character sarah. sara from the bible stood for beauty, was blessed and she was the princess of the tribe.

well that's all for now. for this journal i will not be caring about spelling and whatnot. that's for my story. if you have any thoughts or cares, feel free to share. by for now.